Honesty, honestly.

Those who take the time to read this blog may have noticed that I've become more active as of late-this is not a coincidence. While I tend to be a fairly private person, and often keep my thoughts and feelings to myself, I've come to realize this is not a healthy lifestyle. This place is a place for me, have no doubts about that. This is where I can write, clear my head, and get my mind working on ideas and solving problems, but it is also a place where anyone who cares to can get some insight into my thoughts. On the other hand, the public nature of this requires me, for the most part, to be a little vague.

Now, dont get me wrong, I don't mind vague-in fact, vague I do very well, but at some point I began losing honesty in my writing. This place, here, is not the only place that I write. I keep many little notebooks and journals placed around for whenever the itch hits me. Even in those, though, I've always been overly verbose and speak in nearly incoherent metaphor. So I've embarked on a new writing venture, a daily one, in which I write down, short and sweet, the events of my day. Mundane or exciting, they all go in there. I use real names, places, and what I really feel about things, without grandiose run-arounds and hidden messages.

This is already scaring the shit out of me.

I have this inherent fear, and I always have, of people finding the wrong piece of paper, the wrong scrawl, and learning something I never should have committed to paper. This is a way of making me face my fear.

These notes will be published, online, but not here. I will most definitely put them somewhere where my identity will be a little more difficult to ascertain. I'm already falling behind on this, but I plan to get caught up today, and stay that way. Already I'm fretting where I've put these down for fear of their discovery, and the content thus far has been mostly benign.

My end-run here, is to hopefully, by being a bit more thorough in my communication to myself, I can be a bit more open with those I need to be-to speak things more plainly when I'm afraid to say them out loud.

Heaven help me.

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