The Breakup

 I feel like I've known you my whole life. In more than one way, I guess I have. You've always been around. We were practically raised in the same house, although you tended to go a lot more places than I did as a child. Some of them I still have never seen, and probably never will. But the fact that you aren't allowed to go there anymore helps to soften that blow.

I remember the first time we kissed. It was all fun and games, but I still got sick for a few days. I remember the first time we really kissed, too. It was so different. So much more powerful... it made me feel so alive. It was like getting high, but with a lot more endorphins, more energy.

I guess we bonded best after I moved to North Carolina. For a while, all I had was my brother, my parents, and you. Yeah, we were still getting to know each other, but it was that perfect moment of adolescence where you can form that kind of kinship without too many facts. We've come so far, we've been together so long. Sometimes I forget there was a time we weren't together. I guess, most importantly, is that whenever I was feeling like I was at the lowest I could possibly be, you were there for me. No matter how awful I was feeling, you always provided we with some small bit of comfort.

They say nothing good can last forever. I suppose that's true of pretty much anything though. I knew this had to come to an and sometime. I think we both knew it, to be fair. I wish I could give you the “it's not you, it's me” speech, but that wouldn't be honest, and I don't like to be dishonest, especially when it comes to ending a relationship. Yes, that's what this is about, but before you say anything, let me say what I need to say. You've done so much for me, but you've always taken a lot more.

I know you used to get along so well with my friends, and everyone I knew. People change though. You're so much of my past, but I think it's time I left you there. I can't let you become my future. I have new friends, new people, and they aren't so fond of you. My parents, my boss, my friends, well, they all think you're bad for me. It doesn't matter what I do, I can't hide when I've been with you, everyone always knows. They don't like it. They tell me I can do so much better, and I'm finally starting to understand what they mean. You're slowing me down, and you're taking up so much of my time, and resources, and I'm getting less and less out of this relationship as it goes on.

So, I guess I'm just trying to say that we need to break up. See other people, as it were. Not that you already weren't, but I've never been mad at you for that. Them a little bit, but not you. You really have no choice in the matter anyway, when it comes to them, but they have always had that choice. But it's who you are, and I'm OK with that.

It's not like I won't see you around, hell, it seems that pretty much everywhere I go, there you are. You just can't be there with me. Not anymore. I know we've been through this before, and you're just going to wait until the day I crawl back to you and beg you to take me back. You'll say yes in the blink of an eye, too. You always have, and you always will. Which is why I have to put my foot down and say no. Not anymore. I have to stop letting you control so much of my life. Please, don't argue, just... just let me go.

I know I'm not going to stop wanting you, needing you, for a long time, but that's the way it has to be. We need to sort out our own paths, go our separate ways. I used to love you, but I just can't anymore. I have to figure out how to live in a world where we aren't together. Trust me, it's for the best. At least, for me it is.

What's that? One last time? Well, I can't really argue with that, but really, this is it. I'll let you have tonight, but then we're done. I'm sorry. Kind of. But not that sorry. OK, I'll shut up now. Just one last time, and then please, please just leave me be. Goodbye.