The crackling of the wood had been the only sound for a good ten minutes. Sparks danced on unseen drafts of heat, performing their ballet into the treetops until their light winked out, rendering them into mere ash. But even then, they danced a bit more, until they slowly drifted to their final resting place; to the river, or the soil, where what was left of their fiery life became fuel and food for another spark. Those gathered around the fire sat in silence, watching the dance, each other, and, most importantly, their memeories. It was Anne that spoke first.
"I found it dischordant. The symphony would've been so much sweeter without that sound." At this, she got stern glances from Kadiff and Luna. Prigga looked to retort, but then begrudgingly lowered her gaze. "I'll admit it was oddly alluring, at first, but then it fell completely out of sync with anything I cared for. I know it was an important part, but it wasn't what I wanted to hear. Hell, even the parts of it I did want were either played wrong or weren't played at all!"
---
I'm sorry. I felt used. You felt used. I believe you were mistaken, but I can't blame you for the thought. On the other hand, I know I was nothing but a distraction.
---
It was Luna who finally responded. "It was there for an important reason. I learned a lot from that sound. As askew as it may have been, it laid the groundwork for something much bigger. I think that as a part of the whole, it was a good thing. Its not the part that I liked the most, but the next phase would've been nothing without the prior syncopated cacophony it added in." Anne snorted. The others all gave Luna a look that resembled a mixture of understanding and bewilderment. At the very least it was not the usual sentiment she brought across.
---
Thank you for being strong when I wasn't, thank you for being kind when I was addicted to self-flagellation. Thank you for giving me your world for a short time, even though we both knew I would never last. Thank you.
---
Kadiff picked up a long branch, and pushed the logs around for a few moments, sending more dancers into the sky to burn out, to fade away. "I loved it. I still love it." Stirring the fire as if it were a pot, it began burning fiercely. "I don't want to hear it again. Ever."
Prigga looked at her, aghast. "I could hardly hear the thing over your pining! Just as it was reaching its crescendo, you began talking over it, singing other songs it inspired you to think of and create, you squandered it for me, and now I'll never hear it the same way again! It was downright selfish of you, damn it all! Selfish, and you've ruined it for me, and now you say you don't want to hear it again? You ought to be ashamed."
Kadiff glanced up with tears in her eyes.
"I am."
---
There... are no words. My anger itself is the reason why I am blinded to my anger. It shuts me down, a defense mechanism, and there are moments I can see myself as if through a foggy mirror, and I want to scream. I want to have the rage of the wind and the storm and howl against the world, crashing and destroying everything in my wake...
//
and then there is stillness. My attempt at not believing in distraction, my taking of something only for the benefit of myself, uncaring of what happened. This is not who I am, this is not who I have ever been. This is why it hurt me more than it ever could have hurt you.
---
A distant rumbling of thunder rolled across the valley, signaled to the sisters that this meeting was soon to be over. Kadiff would stay for the rain, as was her wont, but the rest had other duties to tend to, other stories to tell, other lives to tend. None of them made the move to get up, not yet.
"What about you, Ember?" Kadiff muttered under her breath. The sisters looked first at Kadiff, then craned their heads to that seat, further away from the fire, the one so far on the periphery that it was nearly forgotten, and in fact had been, for most them.
Ember finally looked up, the glow of the last few coals still burning reflecting in my eyes. "You don't know me, any of you. I think I like it better this way. My counsel is my own."
---
What about you, Ember?
"I found it dischordant. The symphony would've been so much sweeter without that sound." At this, she got stern glances from Kadiff and Luna. Prigga looked to retort, but then begrudgingly lowered her gaze. "I'll admit it was oddly alluring, at first, but then it fell completely out of sync with anything I cared for. I know it was an important part, but it wasn't what I wanted to hear. Hell, even the parts of it I did want were either played wrong or weren't played at all!"
---
I'm sorry. I felt used. You felt used. I believe you were mistaken, but I can't blame you for the thought. On the other hand, I know I was nothing but a distraction.
---
It was Luna who finally responded. "It was there for an important reason. I learned a lot from that sound. As askew as it may have been, it laid the groundwork for something much bigger. I think that as a part of the whole, it was a good thing. Its not the part that I liked the most, but the next phase would've been nothing without the prior syncopated cacophony it added in." Anne snorted. The others all gave Luna a look that resembled a mixture of understanding and bewilderment. At the very least it was not the usual sentiment she brought across.
---
Thank you for being strong when I wasn't, thank you for being kind when I was addicted to self-flagellation. Thank you for giving me your world for a short time, even though we both knew I would never last. Thank you.
---
Kadiff picked up a long branch, and pushed the logs around for a few moments, sending more dancers into the sky to burn out, to fade away. "I loved it. I still love it." Stirring the fire as if it were a pot, it began burning fiercely. "I don't want to hear it again. Ever."
Prigga looked at her, aghast. "I could hardly hear the thing over your pining! Just as it was reaching its crescendo, you began talking over it, singing other songs it inspired you to think of and create, you squandered it for me, and now I'll never hear it the same way again! It was downright selfish of you, damn it all! Selfish, and you've ruined it for me, and now you say you don't want to hear it again? You ought to be ashamed."
Kadiff glanced up with tears in her eyes.
"I am."
---
There... are no words. My anger itself is the reason why I am blinded to my anger. It shuts me down, a defense mechanism, and there are moments I can see myself as if through a foggy mirror, and I want to scream. I want to have the rage of the wind and the storm and howl against the world, crashing and destroying everything in my wake...
//
and then there is stillness. My attempt at not believing in distraction, my taking of something only for the benefit of myself, uncaring of what happened. This is not who I am, this is not who I have ever been. This is why it hurt me more than it ever could have hurt you.
---
A distant rumbling of thunder rolled across the valley, signaled to the sisters that this meeting was soon to be over. Kadiff would stay for the rain, as was her wont, but the rest had other duties to tend to, other stories to tell, other lives to tend. None of them made the move to get up, not yet.
"What about you, Ember?" Kadiff muttered under her breath. The sisters looked first at Kadiff, then craned their heads to that seat, further away from the fire, the one so far on the periphery that it was nearly forgotten, and in fact had been, for most them.
Ember finally looked up, the glow of the last few coals still burning reflecting in my eyes. "You don't know me, any of you. I think I like it better this way. My counsel is my own."
---
What about you, Ember?
No comments:
Post a Comment