"She's around here somewheres..." I heard my dad mutter. Less than 48 hours in Cortland and he'd already picked up the accent again. I joined him in pacing and scouring the rows when, unexpectedly, a smile came to my lips. I was playing hide and seek with my sister.
She was born in 1981, just 3 years older than me. For the first time in my life, she became real to me, and we werent playing hide and seek anymore. I pictured her now. Tall, lean, standing a few inches above my mom.
She'd probably still live in Chapel hill, she loved the city when she went to UNC. With 30 coming in just a few months, she told me she was a little worried. She had a great job, and had a decent boyfriend who was finally able to put up with her crazy side. He got along great with Scott and my dad. Mom has her heels cooled on him, but she's warming up. I think the guy's ok, I tell her, and that she needs to stop worrying. Just because shes older and dumber than me, it's no reason for her to be worried.
She laughs, and smacks me on the arm. Really, I tell her, you're doing great. 30 is going to be just as great as 25 was, she'd see. Scott was already planning the surprise party.
She looks more like dad than any of us, but she still has mom's nose. I've always hated that she had that nice, wavy chestnut brown hair, while I got dad's curls. She looks great for 30. Shes starting to get crows feet on her eyes, but she laughs a lot, so I'd expect nothing less. I give her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek, but she grabs my arm on my way to leave.
You know Ryan, she looks at me seriously, I'm your big sis. You can talk to me about any of this stuff you're going through. Everyone is a little worried about you. We just want to make sure you're happy. I give her a smile, and a bigger hug.
Thanks Laura, I'll think about it. I'll see you on Thanksgiving, you nosy old hag.
I love you too Ryan, she says sardonically.
I took a picture of her headstone. It seemed trivial, but I wanted some proof I had been there. Dad came back from the jeep with a towel to wipe some of the dirt off.
I may not have grown up with a sister, but family is family, and we all love her more than any of us even realize. I'm glad I finally got to meet her.
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1 comment:
:) good writing ryan- Emily
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